I recently came across this quote from Poet Khalil Gibran: “Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
When I was married, I believed that I was there to make my husband happy and him to make me happy. I thought that was marriage about. When I poured into his cup, I would get resentful when my cup got empty. He ended up feeling the same way. It is one thing to know that we are responsible for our own happiness, but do we even practice it. For me, it first has to do with our self-talk. Listen to how you speak to yourself when you feel ashamed, angry or overwhelmed. I often catch myself saying things I would not dare say to a person I respect and value. I have taken the time to sit in solitude and have a conversation with myself. If you are truly honest with yourself, how often do you base your decisions on society’s opinions. We ask for other people’s advice, instead of being guided by our own inner wisdom. Not to say that we should not obtain professional advice, when needed.
Our initiation is a beautiful gift that we seem not to use. We are aware that it is there, still wrapped up in it’s box, waiting for the perfect time to open it. How do you know when your initiation is speaking when you do not recognize it’s voice. When a close friend calls me, they never have to introduce themselves, because I’ve spent enough time with them to recognize there voice, even if they try to disguise it. Same goes with building a relationship with yourself. Our initiation is there to guide us. I’ve learned not to do any life altering decisions, when I’m either overly anxious or excited. When I get that sense of peace, I know that is my initiation speaking. And so I started to respect myself more. Have you ever done something, putting yourself in a position when it just did not feel right to you at the time, just to please people, that’s an example of going against your initiation. When you respectful decline offers, other people have no choice but to respect you too. And if they do not, you still have the choice to gracefully walk away.
Welcome separation. “Let Go and Let God”. God does he’s best work when we are patient. Allow God to move within those spaces of uncertainties. It is not necessary to fight for someone or something with “tooth and nail”. Your job is to focus on your inner work (“The psychological and spiritual practice of diving deep into your inner self for the purposes of self-exploration, self-understanding, healing, and transformation”) and everything that is meant for you will come your way.
